You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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