I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
