He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
