I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize