Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
