My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
