Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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