I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
