I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
