He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
