Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Found your dick twin last night
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize