He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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