just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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