Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize