you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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