are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
