I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
