We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
