She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Say something about gay babies.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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