you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
