you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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