Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
