bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
sarcasm needs its own font
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Two words: blizzard sex
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
