Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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