The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
