Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
