now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
