Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
