she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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