you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
