Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we're making bets on your personal life
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
