If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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