dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Randomize
