When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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