My friends, they love my intelligence
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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