Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
