I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
