I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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