Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
