i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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