Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
