Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
and i looked up. we had an audience...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize