He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
