So drunk its hurt
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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