I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
