How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
