oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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