Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize