Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
