Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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