I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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