So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
