Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
