I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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