I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
