she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
