I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
