were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize