idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
