His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
