one might say we're banned from that church
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
