gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
