you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
